Relationships >> Codependency

WHAT IS CODEPENDENCY?
Codependency is a psychological condition in which someone exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.

Symptoms of codependence are:

controlling behavior distrust perfectionism avoidance of feelings intimacy problems caretaking behavior hypervigilance or physical illness related to stress

Codependence is often accompanied by depression, as the codependent person succumbs to feelings of extreme frustration or sadness over his or her inability to make changes in the other person's (or persons') life.

Individuals who are suffering from codependence may seek assistance through various verbal therapies, sometimes accompanied by chemical therapy for accompanying depression. In addition, there exist support groups for codependency; probably among the best-known of these are Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) and Al-Anon/Alateen, both of which are based on the 12-Step model created by Alcoholics Anonymous.

Melody Beattie, author of Codependent No More developed this check list:

Do you feel responsible for other people--their feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being and destiny? Do you feel compelled to help people solve their problems or by trying to take care of their feelings? Do you find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others than about injustices done to you? Do you feel safest and most comfortable when you are giving to others? Do you feel insecure and guilty when someone gives to you? Do you feel empty, bored and worthless if you don't have someone else to take care of, a problem to solve, or a crisis to deal with? Are you often unable to stop talking, thinking and worrying about other people and their problems? Do you lose interest in your own life when you are in love? Do you stay in relationships that don't work and tolerate abuse in order to keep people loving you? Do you leave bad relationships only to form new ones that don't work, either?

If you answered Yes to several of these questions you may want to consider seeking the help of a therapist.